


And you'll think that I'm crazy

by Etha



Series: Don't let me go under [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: As the chapters go on, Depression, I'll be adding other characters, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, It Jason, Jason Todd-centric, Jason is my child, Lazarus Pit, Mental Instability, My depressed child, SaveJason2k18, Scars, Strong Language, The batfam don't understand this though, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, the lazarus pit controls Jasons mind every now and then, what do you expect?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 11:42:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16474901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Etha/pseuds/Etha
Summary: *Includes self harm references, strong language and some suicidal thoughts in later chapters.*The day Jason was resurrected, he knew he was screwed in terms of his mentality.He was right, just not in the way he expected to be and now it's costing him a heavy price.It's a tough fight, one he wants to conquer- but will he be able to?That is the question.Especially since he's on his own.





	And you'll think that I'm crazy

Jason had never been the same, after his resurrection. His mind was no longer in his control, but rather the pit’s. It darkened him, and bleached away any light he had left within him. However, no one understood that- accusing him for any wrong that had happened by his hand. That whilst it did happen through his hands, it was the being controlling his mind that was truly at fault.

They all acted like as though he was toxic, that he was a poison that could easily spread if they let him close or left him too far.

It hurt.

In reality, they weren’t the victims or the one to have to worry about this pollution occurring through his actions- it was him who did.

With every step he took, and every action he did, Jason felt he was losing more and more control. It was driving him mad, as the whispers inside his head got louder and louder; becoming more and more demanding. It escalated to a point of where one moment he was in control, awake, and the next he would black out only to wake in front of a horror scene of blood.

He didn’t know how much more he could take.

It was a never ending spiral, and one day he couldn’t keep his pleas for it to stop within him. There was this irreplaceable need for him to call out for help, but he couldn’t. What if they didn’t believe him? Thought he was crazy, or that he was just trying to find an excuse to pardon ‘his’ actions?

So he tried another method, and found that with every cut the voices got a little quieter for short periods of time. It felt so, so refreshing to have some control. So addicting even, Jason had truly missed having free will.

If having a few scars here and there would mean that he could have some form of control over the damned pit's manipulations and commands, then the after affects of such an act could go fuck itself. For Jason felt truly alive, for the first time in a while.

Call him crazy, but this was necessary for if Jason truly wanted a brighter future- one where his family could love and accept him- then this new cycle would need to be continued.

After all, he didn’t want the poisonous words within his head to fully take over- now did he?

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if its too short, i need it to be this way for the prologue if i want this story to work out.  
> Thank you for checking this story out! (๑˃̵　ᴗ　˂̵)و  
> -Tam


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